Here are two statements I think most of us would agree with:

  1. Personal growth requires change.
  2. Change is hard.

That’s often the biggest hurdle, isn’t it? Almost everyone wants to be a better person (however you chose to define “better”), but a far smaller percentage of people actually become better versions of themselves. There are many reasons for that, but the difficulty of change is a big one.

So how do we motivate ourselves to tackle change? How do we get over the hump and get on with the “business of becoming”? There are a lot of answers to that question, but here’s one that’s helped me:

Focus on the other side.

What do I mean? Simply this – break through the change barrier to a personal growth goal by focusing on how good you’ll feel when you reach it.

Let’s break that down into 4 simple steps:

  1. Define your goal
  2. Make a plan
  3. Do the work
  4. Enjoy the results!

I’m living in a #4 season right now. I’m enjoying the results of big changes that I’ve tackled over the past couple of years in order to achieve two major personal growth goals: having a new life-style and starting a new career.

Here’s example #1: After my wife Lisa and I became empty nesters a few years ago, we decided that we were tired of living in a too big, maintenance-heavy house in the suburbs of Phoenix, Arizona. We had stayed multiple times in AirBnBs in midtown Sacramento, California while visiting our son and loved the mature trees, climate, and walkability of the city. So we decided to make a big change – sell both cars and most of our possessions, rent out our AZ house, and move to an apartment in Sacramento. 

As anyone who has moved out of state knows, it’s a lot of work. It takes planning and persistent effort over a long period of time before you feel settled in your new place. But we started with a clear goal in mind, made a plan, and plugged away at it. It’s taken about five months of consistent effort, but we did it. Our possessions are all sold, our house is rented, we have new medical insurance in place, our address is changed in about a hundred places, and we’re settled in our new apartment. And we love it! We walk everywhere, spend more time with our son, and have much more maintenance-free discretionary time. It’s so good on the other side of change!

View from the balcony of our new apartment

Here’s example #2: Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of being a writer. For a variety of reasons, I chose a different path and enjoyed a wonderful and meaningful twenty-five year career in music, mostly as a music pastor in various churches. Over the last few years, I started feeling tired. I still believed in what I was doing, but my passion was waning. At the same time, I felt a renewed itch to write. With our kids out on their own and my wife Lisa McMann being a successful writer herself, I had the opportunity to make a big career change.

Over a two year span, I worked at gradually winding down my music career as I ramped up my writing. In addition to this blog, I am busy writing fantasy adventure novels for children. I’ve been picked up by an amazing literary agent who is currently shopping my first book to publishers. I’m a long way from being established in this field, but I feel energized again, and I’m loving my new life as a writer. It was scary to leave an established, successful career that I was comfortable in, but once again, it’s so good on the other side of change!

So how about you? What changes do you need to make in order to have the life you really want? To become who you really want to be? Is it taking control of your health or finishing your degree? Maybe it’s an addiction you need to break or a relationship that you know needs attention. It could be as simple as getting more organized or decluttering your home. Be the change large or small, short term or long term, mental or physical, emotional or spiritual, break through the change barrier by walking through the personal growth steps. Define your goal. Make a plan. Do the work. And each step of the way, focus on how good you’ll feel on the other side of change! If you do, you’ll take a huge step toward Becoming Yourself.